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You Can’t Push the River: Slow Down, Enjoy the Journey


“I want everything now!”

I get intentional and the universe usually responds. (the universe = god = higher power = holy spirit = mitakuye oyasin = the spirit guides = where ever you choose to put your spiritual connection. A number of years ago, in the same accelerating life moment, I was praying and asking for guidance when the answer came back, “Take a Rest, John.” In these last few weeks (mid-August to now, mid-September) the universe has been pushing me in a new direction. (SEE: Universe Says, “Full Stop.”)

It’s Go Time

I’m not going to brag and list off all the ways the universe is showing up in my life, but… I can tell you this universal truth about life:

Life will meet you where you are. What you dream of, speak of, and move towards, is what makes up your happiness and drive. When the world looks bleak, and the future is hard to get stoked about, it’s time for a REST. When the green lights come on across the board (instrument panel metaphor) you need to be ready to go. As the universe meets you in your power, you need to celebrate the energy and bask in the glow.

Today, this year, 2021 mid-September, as the world around us seems to be either ON FIRE or EMERGING INTO THE LIGHT, I am changing everything about my approach to love, life, and even this blog.

What’s New, What’s the Same?

If you’ve been a reader, you’ll notice there are two main nav menu items that are missing. I have moved Positive Divorce and Dark Days under the Resources tab. Here’s why: I am migrating my consciousness, my coaching practice, and even my writing towards LOVE and AWAY from anger and resentment.

As of the first of September, I am no longer writing or coaching on Divorce. (Sorry.) I now understand that divorce was a transformative journey out of some self-enforced darkness into ever-higher levels of consciousness. And even as I am releasing this aspect of my life, new energies and new people are showing up in my life. I know this to be true: as you get more clear in your intentions, and you put those vibrations out into the universe/world/spirit, you will attract people who are in alignment with your new focus. As you concentrate on mindfulness and healing your own wounds and trauma, you are prepping yourself for the next run at relationship-building.

The Relationship-Building Starts With Me

As love and let go, I learn so many things from each attempt at escape velocity. See, you want to shoot for the moon. But most relationships begin to break down in the years following the honeymoon phase, and the couples fall back into old patterns, and eventually break up citing “the other person’s issues.” Well, I’m guilty of this as well. It’s human nature to give yourself a break (unless you’re stuck in your pain-body) and one of the ways we do this is we blame the other partner for the failure of the relationship.

Any relationship is a 50/50 deal. If things get unbalanced it creates tension and anxiety for one or both of the partners. As I began to move into a hyper-growth mode in a partnership, hoping to move my past partnerships into what I call the WE, each relationship since my divorce has devolved into some imbalanced mess. And eventually, it is healthier to leave the relationship rather than work/fight/negotiate to fix it.

At this higher velocity, the risk for me is to accept too many projects. My tendency, as my energy gets more and more intense (as we near my birthday), is to push into orbit with my growing enthusiasms. Today, my goal is to turn down all but the 100% intentional projects. Today, my health and happiness are the top priority, then my job, then exploring a new partnership. I certainly want to be swept off my path by the tsunami of love, but at this moment I need to continue to focus on myself, my path, my life goals, and expect that THE ONE will arrive in my life when I’m ready.

Am I Ready?

If I don’t get my ambitions in check I can bring the entire empire down with a flame out or meltdown. Again, I’m not going to list what’s happening in my life, that’s part of what I need to do to move beyond this accelerated feeling and energy I’ve been tapping into. This morning I slept until 5 am. And that was a gift. I think either my spiritual soul or my physical body wakes up after the required rest/reset period has been reached and the lights go on in my brain and it’s TIME TO GET UP JOHN.

I am ready.

  • I am focused.
  • I am micro-course-correcting my life, and not firing booster rockets.
  • I am open to receive the entire love of my higher power.
  • I’m ready to burn clean of obstacles of my past.
  • I am not seeking love.
  • I am confident that love will show up again when I am ready.

Fully Empowered

Do you know the Cake song, Short Skirt, Long Jacket? That’s what I want. I want a woman who is standing in her power and evolving into higher levels of confidence and consciousness. And when she arrives, as I was telling a friend last night, she will blow away the plans and maps I am exploring right now.

I have learned to let go and let love. And when the right one comes along I will not hesitate, I will not hold back, I will not shy away from saying what I want. The big bang that’s going to happen when I’m met by an equal, by a goddess, by a woman who is rockin her feminine energies in addition to kicking ass and getting shit done.

My challenge to the world this morning: Blow me away, god. I’m ready.

This journey started with these posts:


John McElhenney – life coach austin texas
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SONG: Everything Now (YouTube link) – Arcade Fire

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