Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.
For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”
I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.
We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.
It's a long and exciting road towards the next romance in my life. The woman who I find has to be ready and energetic enough to keep up with me and my delusions of grandeur. And she will probably have delusions of her own.
Get your goals and intentions straight before you head out on a date. Certainly, before you head out on a second or third date.
While I do think there is value in online dating, I also believe there are problems inherent in the social click-me culture. But let's look at what's great about online dating.
I am sold on lifetime partnerships, done one at a time. When they fail, they fail, but not for my own valiant efforts. Let's be together and explore how we can continue to romance, the care and kindness.
THIS IS MY HAPPY PLACE. Typing words. Imagining I am putting down some information of value.
What I am learning this weekend, with my daughter, is that I cannot settle for someone who does not treat me with the love and respect she does. I would hope the same for her, as she moves forward in her life.
Slowly but surely, with patience and grace, I will be in relationship again. Months from now, a year from now, I hope to be writing you again about "the love of my life." Heck if you don't believe it, how will you ever get there.
That's what we want. Ascendant love. Moving ever higher together. Fearlessly attacking the discord as it arrives unwelcome and unbidden. And we move through it with the other person, knowing they are going to stick around.