Dating

Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.

For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”

I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.

We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.

Listening for Desire and Motivation: Crafting Love that Lasts

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:June 14, 2022
Post category:Dating Joy Love mindfulness relationship building Relationships self-awareness Self-care Sex sexual chemistry

I need the vital connection and the clear communications to become part of our DNA. Then, when you're "ready and rutting," let's get it on!

Big Love & the Tonic Effect of Being In a Nourishing Relationship

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:June 13, 2022
Post category:Dating Divorce Health and Fitness humans of divorce Joy Love mindfulness relationship building Relationships self-awareness Self-care Sex sexual chemistry Single-Dad Spirituality

Each day, we just groove. Watching a movie, cooking dinner, walking her dogs, I am happier together with someone who is holding my hand.

Looking to Get a Little Higher: Seeking Elevation & Immortality

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:June 7, 2022
Post category:Dating Depression Drinking Health and Fitness humans of divorce Joy Love mindfulness self-awareness Self-care Single-Dad Spirituality

If I can be more conscious of my moments, my intake, and my decisions about rest vs. success, I can be happier with the body I have.

In This Moment You Choose: Happy or Resentful

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:May 31, 2022
Post category:Dating Depression Health and Fitness Love mindfulness Parenting self-awareness Self-care Single-Dad

Pay attention to your mind. When the monkey mind jumps into gear, try and find a moment to observe your thinking, as if you are an observer. Then decide: do I want to continue this runaway train of thought, or should I focus on something that I can actually have an effect on?

What I Learned About Drinking: The Summer of Love

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:May 14, 2022
Post category:Dating Drinking Health and Fitness Joy Love relationship building Relationships self-awareness Self-care Spirituality Third Glass Series

I also learned that drinking is not a life path that's going to bring you much joy. And as you get more routine about your nightly start, you get less intentional about what you want to do with your free time.

Setting Priorities in Life: The Only Path Forward

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:May 13, 2022
Post category:Dating Health and Fitness mindfulness self-awareness Self-care Single-Dad Spirituality

As our little boat struggles forward my wife and I are co-captains. And we have an awesome little crew of kids, dogs, cats, and even fish. All attached via rigging and lifelines.

Big 5 Relationship Questions to Answer Before You Start Dating Again

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:May 13, 2022
Post category:Dating Joy Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad

So let's make a pact, in our next round of dating "work" I want to commit to pursuing only the clear YES women. Everything else is a distraction. If I am interested in a relationship, that's going to take time, patience, perspective, and the right YES woman.

Listening To Yourself About Craving, Loneliness, Longing

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:May 12, 2022
Post category:Dating Relationships self-awareness

And then I did something a bit different: I paid attention to how each of my options felt. I noticed I was not really in need of ice cream. I didn't need anything sweet.