Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.
For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”
I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.
We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.
Work on the feedback loop in all interactions with your partner. If you can get the core link between the two of you solid and healthy, you can move together towards a jointly-imagined horizon. Don't settle. Don't let things get off track. Always speak your truth.
The power of sex is back and I don't want to give it up now any more than I did when my marriage began to falter. This time, I don't have to suffer when things go off the rails, I can just pack up and move along to another potential mate.
Then as our lives spun into the dark void of micro-alienation and bitterness, and as my ex-wife continued to spit vile at me, I began this journey to become positive about all that I was going through.
The good news is there are a lot of potential people out there looking for relationships. And the apps and sites help you connect with a huge variety and range of people. Finding the needle in that haystack is your challenge, but if you go about it methodically and efficiently you can and will find a life partner.
Truth is a spiritual process. Not settling for half-truths is an acid test. And perhaps this "edge" will give me some insight and relief from burnout and anxiety.
The pitch: "Ferris Bueller gets a divorce."
Blessings to all of the amazingly gorgeous women and men out there. I know it's not easy for you. I hope you find your way to a balanced and healthy love. You deserve mutual respect and not just adoration.
There is absolutely no hurry. You have all the time you need. Spend time together. Spend time apart. Listen. Learn. And move forward.