February is for Lovers: Collected *LOVE* Articles for Your Heart
What are some ways you can nurture your loving relationship every single day of this month? And then, continue next month. And forever.
Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.
For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”
I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.
We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.
What are some ways you can nurture your loving relationship every single day of this month? And then, continue next month. And forever.
I am convinced that through active participation and a cooperative approach to love, I can establish and maintain a loving partnership on into my later years. To be walking on a beach somewhere, with my partner, and doting on our grandkids and our kids, together.
We want to show up in our relationships fully formed, fully empowered, and fully healed. If one of the partners is struggling or has less experience, it's important to notice the imbalance, and yet not label it as "their problem" vs "your problem."
What does it look like when you are happy? What are you doing? If your best case scenario involves continuing to do that (play tennis, in my case) then perhaps you need to look into participating more. The apps are okay for spreading your reach and resetting your ambition, but you need to be doing your dream first, then the right person might come along beside you on a bike ride and say, "Hello."
How you define your boundaries early in the relationship is how you will relate to each other for the duration. If you cross boundaries and violate minor issues of trust, you will break the fragile bond that is forming between the two of you, even before the first fibers of love have begun to form and enmesh.
She doesn't need to force me into a plan. And I don't need to buck against her plan or freak out when it hasn't been put forth. We are indeed already married in every way but two.
Today, you can stop fighting the monkeys in your mind. Today, you can befriend the entire circus. And as you gain mastery over the monkeys, turning your attention over and over again back towards the important goals in your life, guess what happens? You start making real progress.
So let's aspire to good sex, but let's put our private parts on hold for a moment while we get some clarity on what an actual relationship might look like with this person. We can't spend more than 1% of our time together in bed.