Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.
For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”
I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.
We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.
As we continue to go for a lifetime lover, we've got to be prepared to learn, study, grow, stretch, and reach back to our lovers for the REPAIR. Either partner can go for the repair. And both partners should work towards the repair, even if the bridge is collapsed in smoldering ruins.
The immediate plan is to continue growing, learning, and communicating with an ever-evolving sense of security and trust. Then, don't start talking about rings, living together, and retirement, until you've had a chance to go through at least one cycle of the seasons.
Seek 100%. Seek a fulfilled partner. Seek a mindful journey alongside another seeker. Be here now.
A relationship coach can Give you a sense of hope; Give you a taste of how a "relationship coach" works; Explain how coaching is more like a physical trainer and less like a therapist; Help you clarify your goals.
Once your kids are out of the house, learning to find yourself and what makes you happy, is much more important than seeking your next sexual partner. In fact, I believe the first step to divorce or breakup recovery is finding your own inner joy again.
When divorce with children is your path be prepared for a lot of highs and lows. You can do it. And your efforts will be rewarded later. Your kids will never know what you went through to stay in their lives, but they will appreciate your presence and loving guidance well into adulthood.
How do you find your community? Can you bring more creative energy to your life path? Do you know what things give you aspirational ideas? How can you begin to celebrate and nurture your own Alive Tribe?
If you end most workdays with a loss of motivation and deep exhaustion, I'd like to invite you to dig deeper and get to the heart of what keeps you there, and what you could begin to change if you knew where you wanted to go.