Anger is a healthy emotion.
When you feel anger, what you do with the excess energy is all-important. Harness your anger to move towards your goals and dreams. Anger at ex-partners, anger at the state of the world, anger at a shitty manager, each is like little charging station to increase your blood pressure. Use that pressure to move your plans forward. Don’t look back in regret. Leave those people in the dust. Anger informs your soul. Listen to what hurts. And then, learn to move forward out of what is making you angry towards things that make you happy.
Suppressed anger leads to health issues, depression, rage, and addiction. By building a healthy response to your anger, you can begin to move your life towards happiness and contentment. Your anger towards someone else is YOUR issue. Let it go. Move onward and upward.
Toxic anger is like drinking poison and hoping it kills the other person. It’s only going to make you sick. Unresolved anger is not good for you or any of the people around you. Let go of your anger. Use anger for good.
My ex knew I would not sue her for 50/50 custody. She didn't want to lose 50% of the time with her kids. 30% sounded almost palatable. Painful, but well worth the freedom she imagined just ahead, as she headed towards becoming a single mom.
How do we men get away with exiting our responsibilities so easily? How do our women not ask us clearly for what the need, over and over, until they get it? Perhaps most of you do. I was the husband that was always trying to find ways to make my wife happy, rested, and relaxed. I did everything I could.
She has played all her trump cards and she's still not happy. She's remarried and she's still not happy. She might not ever be happy. That's no longer my problem.
I hope she's happy. It doesn't seem like that's the case, but what do I know? I only know that she's shirking on her responsibility to be an available parent to my daughter. That's okay, I guess. That's where I step in as an available parent.
I don't think my ex-wife or my ex-girlfriend derived any positive benefits from attacking me. And perhaps, their momentary feeling of superiority and vindictiveness was worth the price. But both these women attacked me and took actions to hurt me and my future prospects.
While my co-parenting efforts have been shunned by my ex-wife, I have never failed to ask to be included in all parenting decisions. It's in our parenting plan, the one we both signed when we agreed to our divorce documents. Even when my co-parent refuses to co-parent, I can be a great co-parent. My kids deserve it. My ex is frustrated by it. And I am at peace with it.
With one phone call, my ex-wife could take the jackboot of the AG's office off my credit and financial life. But why would she do that? In some universe, my ex-wife still feels justified in turning me over to the AG's office for collections.
I often pontificate that my ex-wife is angry because she didn't get the happiness she imagined by moving her cheese from one man to a different man. She got everything she wanted in the divorce: the house, the child support payment + insurance for the kids, and the 70/30 parenting schedule, and still she's not happy.