But at that moment, in the end, I still loved her, still wished it had worked out for us. I still felt the dream we had written for our future. But somewhere along the path, we both turned away from the relationship and towards our previous dysfunctions. I was sad. She was drinking. And we were going out separate ways.
I forgive my father for his alcoholism. I don't forgive alcoholism. And in my adult life, I can't maintain a relationship (romantic or professional) with someone who drinks heavily. It's not good for me.
I have been in relationships where drinking was more a part of our fabric. I was more of a drinker in college, and I recall many a buzzed afternoon on my roof deck enjoying some summer rum punch. Today, that sounds awful, but it's not because I don't like a buzz every now and then.
I just choose to stay conscious. I hope that I am facing my issues head-on rather than trying to escape from them or block them out. I have issues. But I'd rather face them sober.
The third glass for me ALWAYS sounds like a great idea. My brain and my heart want that extra boost. My spirit and mind knows that it's not such a great idea for me.
I have to admit I do appreciate a minor amount of intoxication. I don't do it often, but when I do, I revel in the relaxation, the joy, the fun…
As you eventually become an adult, there are opportunities for self-regulation that begin to define you. For some folks, the casual drink is the indulgence that gives them a warm fuzzy feeling. But again, as we evolve as adults we begin to look beyond the buzz and towards other objectives.
The choice to head towards less consciousness on a regular basis is a conscious choice, nonetheless. Decide consciously when are about to fill up your third glass. Talk about the evening with your significant other.