MNDFL – mindful: actions and words match with your philosophy or spiritual direction.
MFKR – motherf*cker: the fierce and direct confrontation of ideas, actions, and words that don’t match up with our values.
It is easy to be a MFKR. It’s easy to hate on stuff you don’t like or (probably) don’t understand. I have spent a lot of time in the last five years taming my MFKR attitude. On Facebook, for example, it might be hard to ignore MAGA posts, or ads that claim oral ketamine can replace therapy. But here’s where I’ve landed on this anger inside myself at the injustices and ignorance in the world (and on Facebook).
You do not have to respond to social media or news media. You don’t have to educate or correct the other haters in the world. It is fine to ignore the stuff you don’t like. In the not-too-distant past it would’ve been easy for me to pick a fight with a Trumpish post (usually from a high school “friend”) on Facebook. Today, I simply block them. No need to have a conversation of any kind with them. Done. Move on.
Walking In Peace
In a mindful approach to the walk of life and social media, it can be a bit more difficult to define and then align with your life goals. I know that sounds woo-woo, but it’s actually quite practical.
If you do not know where you want to go, how can you determine if any action is TOWARD or AWAY from your ultimate goal? If you don’t know your purpose (even a little one) in life, how will you determine your course of action, today, this weekend, or this year? The point is, you can’t know where to go if you don’t know where you are going.
If you are not aware of your UBER GOAL it is highly likely that you are not crafting an intentional life. That’s what we want: to live an intentional and directed life. There are plenty of books and teachers who can help you become more self-aware and intentional in your life. That is outside the scope of this post or my goal in writing it.
You must find your goal(s) before you can make strides toward your best life.
But Why MFKR?
You may be thinking if you’re following along, that MFKR has no place in a life of peace or holistic health. Let’s pull that idea a part for a second. Let’s say you’re sitting beside a calm mountain lake in the mountains. You are in a mindful repose. Perhaps you are writing an article about how blissful and serene your life is. Breathing is slow and easy. As you follow in-breath number 34 an enormous diesel pickup truck pulls into the parking lot behind you. A group of young people gets out.
Three dogs, two kids, and six adults with a Yeti cooler and a thumping boombox set up for their afternoon party.
In this moment, as blissful as you might have been, you’ve got issues. You’ve also go an infinite number of options.
A mindful non-MFKR person might simply leave and find solace somewhere else. A MFKR would ignite and confront the new arrivals. A MNDFL MFKR will explore a number of options in their mind before taking action.
Let’s up that ante a bit. Let’s say you are driving along a snowy mountain pass when this same type of bigass truck jams up behind you and seems to be pressing you to either go faster or go off the road. Now, what do you do?
A MNDFL MFKR tries the path of peace until his peace or safety is threatened. Then, watch out. Time to unleash the MFKR. You still have a ton of options, you still maintain your self-awareness and calm, and you take clear and decisive action to eliminate the risk to you and your family.
When you walk your path, try and be mindful. When you’re contradicted or upset by the words or actions of others, continue to assess your options. Then, like a ninja, when it’s time to take action, move without hesitation to neutralize the threat.
Then breathe and let it go. Recenter, and refind your peace.
The stickers I made a year ago have started a number of interesting conversations. It seems there are two responses to MNDFL MFKR.
- Frustration or anger
- Laughter and joining
In that way, these hearts are like an acid test. Are you IN or are you OUT?
I’d love to hear your reactions to this concept in the comments or via email. I’m listening as mindfully as I can.
- Mind the Gap: Listening for the Signals from Your Lover
- Emotional Variability: Healthier Living Through Mindful Awareness
- mindfulness < a new index of happiness and hope
- “You Look Tired” Let’s Talk About Living Your Best Life
- Here and Now: Returning To Peace, Learning Patience
Here are a few of my books on Amazon:
- Single Dad Seeks: Dating Again After Divorce: Advice and Strategies on Learning How to be Loved Again
- Fall of the House of Dad: My journey through divorce, from loss to joy, again and again
- A Good Dad’s Guide to Divorce: One father’s quest to stay connected with his children
- The Sex Index: Getting Our Love Languages Right in the Bedroom
- Here Comes the Darkness: Surviving and Thriving After a Mental Illness Diagnosis
- The Third Glass: When Drinking Becomes an Issue
- The Storm Before the Divorce: When One Parent Wants Out, That’s the End
- Dating 2.0: Aiming for the Love of Your Life