Be good to yourself. Love yourself and your partner (if you have one) as best you can. Gain mindfulness in all aspects of your life. And get into the FLOW of your life and of your relationship.
Your lover, your kids, your family, even your colleagues will notice the change as you get more of your own needs met: for alone time, for rest, for exercise, for walks alone, for recharging you. Then you can bring that love, energy, and joy back to your relationship and all the relationships in your life.
What ended up happening when I pushed on the broken parts of the relationship is she began to exit emotionally and avoid any opportunities to be alone, where we might have time to discuss what was going on. She took to falling asleep in the kid's beds rather than returning to me.
If you find yourself thinking or saying, I'd be happy if you'd just... You need to get over the request and focus on yourself. If NOTHING CHANGES, would you be able to stay in this relationship? If the answer is no, you've got work todo.
Our children have probably learned more about relationships (good and bad) from television and porn. It's part of why all of us are so confused about what makes for a healthy relationship.
Get creative, because it's going to take a lot more time to get close enough to look directly into her eyes from a safe distance. Good luck out there, and stay safe.
When your Big Love awakens in you and your partner, it's as if all the other questions, all the other doubts, all the other relationships, begin to fall away. We are forever changed by the joy and energy awakened in us by the loving presence of our Big Love partner.
That's where love lives: in finding, holding, and building the flame of love in our hearts and in our partner's hearts every day of our lives together.