sexual fulfillment

4 Spiritual Practices to Get the Sex Life of Your Dreams (Um, What?)

Okay, so that headline caught my attention. This was from Sivana East a little blog/product front for some low-cost spiritual products and pseudo-spirituality. I mean, yes, sex is a spiritual practice if practiced consciously and with reverence, AND… they can’t be serious, can they? What are they selling here? Let’s go follow up on their article and find out if what they have to say is of value, or of *bs*.

The Four Sexually Enlightened Spiritual Practices

  1. Self-love
  2. Knowledge
  3. Mindfulness
  4. Try Tantra

Okay, that’s bullshit. Let’s weigh in.

Let’s Talk About Self-love

Yes, we all need to explore our own bodies. We need to learn what gets us off. What turns us off. And what we *might* like to try at some point in our future. But self-love and self-care appear a lot as this panacea of stress relief. Sure, masturbation is a great release. And it’s not a spiritual practice. Getting good at getting yourself off, is something boys work on from the time we discover how certain rubbing causes a warm melty feeling. But “self-love” is NOT a spiritual practice.


Okay, but that’s like staying, get more information is the key to happiness. Is giving us this insight, “you need to gain more knowledge” a helpful insight, or just *bs* wrapped up in an empty series of words. There’s nothing to see here.


Yes, sure, mindfulness is an amazing spiritual practice. And as it relates to sex, sure, again Sting made us all a bit gaggy about his Tantric prowess. Don’t google Sting and sex. Gross!

Mindfulness during sex is an amazing thing. It’s easier to describe than achieve. But when you can connect with your partner on a spiritual level as well as a conscious level, you are on your way to finding a mindful repose before, during, and after the sexual act.

Try Tantra

Nice plug. Let me see. Do you think they might offer some books, products, and classes on the ancient “tantric” secrets? I’m willing to bet a good sum of bitcoin or GameStop stock on the answer to that one. Yes, indeed try tantra. But get this, it’s a practice that often has NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX. Don’t go to a local yoga studio to get flooded with sexual energy or sexual mastery. It’s about the flow of energy. And yes, if you can harness that beast during sex, well, please contact me directly and let me know how you did it. It’s not a simple practice any more than meditation is the simple process of clearing your mind. In fact, meditation is the act of clearing your mind. But it’s harder than described. Tantra is the same thing. Imagine some yoga poses that hurt like hell and have nothing to do with your private parts and everything to do with breathing and relaxing into the stretch and pull of your own body.

Sexuality and Spiritual Practices

I’m happy to tell you that getting more grounded, mindful, and spiritual will improve your sex life. “The sex life of your dreams…” Um, let’s go for “the sex life of your present life, present relationship, or lack of present relationship. Gaining spiritual knowledge and spiritual insight, becoming more mindfun in life, and during sex, is all fantastic. Do it. Go for it. Don’t go seek the answer at some product-driven website, or from some “sex educator” telling you how it’s done. Dr. Ruth is fantastic, but she’s not quite up-to-date in my mind.

Do check out books like The Joy of Sex, The Soul of Sex, and Sexual Intelligence. All three books can be gateways to exploring your sexuality (both self-love and loving someone else). And then get in the bedroom, get in the arena of relationships, and try out your new ideas, your fantasies, your tantric breathing. Yes. Do it. Go for it. I love it. Sting loves it. And I’m sure Sting’s wife… well, wait a minute, I’m not sure she’s all that excited about having sex for hours on end. In my limited experience… Oh, nevermind.

Be good to yourself. Love yourself and your partner (if you have one) as best you can. Gain mindfulness in all aspects of your life. And get into the FLOW of your life and of your relationship. That’s the best we can do. Even when we’re doing it, we’ve got to pay attention and maintain connected attention to our partner. At least, that’s my aspiration. What’s your aspiration? What’s your experience of the sexual/spiritual connection?

Always Love,

John McElhenney – life coach austin texas
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Reference: 4 Spiritual Practices to Get the Sex Life of Your Dreams – Sivana East

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