Parenting is the biggest adventure you can set in motion. By becoming parents you are agreeing to give a priority to your children, over yourself. The sacrifice of becoming a parent is about making a better life for our kids.
As parents, our relationship may not work out. In divorce, we’ve got an opportunity to remain connected as a cooperative co-parent. Our role as divorced parents is to support our kids with less concern for ourselves or our disappointment in our ex-partner. It is important to leave your anger and frustration behind, and pay attention to your kids and their needs.
It will take a long time for me to rebuild my relationship with the kids, but I will. And they will know the story of this angry divorce saga over time. They will ask about "what happened?" They will ask about the lies.
I am sorry you’re going through a tough time. Divorce and breakups suck. I am here to give you hope and help you put your plan together for a better life.
Today, you can stop fighting the monkeys in your mind. Today, you can befriend the entire circus. And as you gain mastery over the monkeys, turning your attention over and over again back towards the important goals in your life, guess what happens? You start making real progress.
What do you need to cut the tether attaching you to this bag of these BULLSHIT-LIES you keep telling yourself? Write them down. Identify the "little black bastards" pulling you down.
Finally, if you're going to agree to a cooperative divorce, make sure you add in a clause about NEVER INVOLVING THE ATTORNEY GENERAL'S OFFICE. EVER.
Sure, you can lean into your kids' anger about the divorce. But your role as a parent is to help them separate their emotions from your emotions. Your anger has infused their entire lives.
Share your bed, but keep your own bedroom. That way there is no blurring of the boundaries while you are still trying to figure out the basics of the relationship.
Everything that happened from the moment my then-wife said she’d been to see a lawyer, has delivered me up to be healed in a way that would not have been possible had we stayed together.