Love is the core skill and core need we all have. Many of us grew up in homes where love was conditional. If you behave this way I will love you. If you go against my wishes, I will exclude you from my love. This is not how love works. Love is universal energy, either you’re tapped into it and give it freely, or you are lacking in love.

Our Response to Someone Else is 100% Up to Us: Choose the Positive

I have to let go of what I wanted the divorce to look like. I have to let go of the part of me that wanted to remain close as co-parents and celebrate our children's victories and rally around them in their discomforts. Today, I cannot do this.

Continue ReadingOur Response to Someone Else is 100% Up to Us: Choose the Positive

The Struggle is Real: Dads Headed for Divorce Must Fight for the Kids

My belief is moms and dads should agree that they will both ask for 50/50 custody in the case of a divorce. My agreement is more of a set of vows. I have not written a legally binding contract, like a pre-nuptial, that governs the money in the case of the divorce. I have written an agreement that governs the promise between the two parents to share the love and parenting of their children in a balanced way for the rest of their lives.

Continue ReadingThe Struggle is Real: Dads Headed for Divorce Must Fight for the Kids

The Irreconcilably Irritating Present And How to Find Peace in It

I like to drive fast. This is a constant opportunity to tap into the irritating nature of the present moment. As I want to go fast (both in the car and in my life) I am always pushing up against the slower cars of the rapidly growing population of our fair city.

Continue ReadingThe Irreconcilably Irritating Present And How to Find Peace in It

The Loss of Kid-time Has Been the Biggest Source of Pain in My Life

In the nine and a half years since the divorce, I have seen my daughter approximately 8 days to every 22 days that my ex-wife gets to see her. This arrangement seems to support the idea that the mom is the primary caregiver in the family, or that moms deserve the majority of the children's time.

Continue ReadingThe Loss of Kid-time Has Been the Biggest Source of Pain in My Life