Divorce, once mentioned, is a slippery and difficult journey. As you pull apart the lives you’ve built together, there will be anger, resentment, frustration, and even joy, and ecstasy. But the divorce is hard on everyone. Listen for who needs support and then give your love and attention. Always.

POSITIVE DIVORCE (is a concept, an alignment, an intention I use as I go through life as a single dad.)

Divorce is one of the most disorienting events in my life. Everything was lost. I have made a point of trying to turn the bad points into positive information. I am here support you as best I can to lessen the impact on your children. Divorce is the beginning of a new journey. You can make it better for everyone by paying attention to what matters. Your anger at your ex needs to be handled on your own.

Dear Single Mom: Listen, I Was Your Son, I Get It

Take one step back the next time you want to overly defend your son. Take one breath before rushing in as he's dealing with issues. Give his little spirit time to develop. (Even with less of your "inspiration and help," he will get there.)

Continue ReadingDear Single Mom: Listen, I Was Your Son, I Get It

Super Judo Warrior Dad in Divorce

For anyone with a family, reestablishing a home is a critical part of the rebuilding process. So I was proud and hopeful when I moved us all into the little home near the lake. And that first summer we swam and played and compromised on the roommate situation for the kids, with my daughter setting up shop in my bedroom most of the time she was staying with dad.

Continue ReadingSuper Judo Warrior Dad in Divorce

The Money After Divorce Manifesto: A Neverending Story

Suffering under massive financial hardship due to the initial divorce decree can be important for your survival and ability to thrive in your new life. Sure, you're going to court, but you had to do this in some form before to get divorced, and if it's absolutely necessary, at least make it as non-confrontational as possible.

Continue ReadingThe Money After Divorce Manifesto: A Neverending Story

We Have So Few Chances to Feel Loved: Online Dating Challenges

During my failing marriage, I got very good at listening for the sirens of destruction (I had done something wrong) and looking for an escape or some heroic journey to fix the problem. Both in my marriage and in this relationship, that was not the right approach.

Continue ReadingWe Have So Few Chances to Feel Loved: Online Dating Challenges

Prayer for All Single Parents, and Especially My Co-parent: Humans of Divorce

Anger is energy. Learn to deal with it and channel it towards something you want. Any anger directed back at your ex is anger that will return to you ten-fold when you are in dire need of support. So a prayer. Our kids are a gift. My ex is blameless in her journey forward, and it is in my best interest to support her and the kids with everything I've got.

Continue ReadingPrayer for All Single Parents, and Especially My Co-parent: Humans of Divorce

Get Into Your Divorce, Because with Kids You’ll Never Get Over It

I don't want to return to an intimate relationship with my ex-wife, but the intimacy we share in raising our kids is more important and deeper than any of our feelings of loss or anger. We have to get OVER our emotional divorce in order to get INTO healthy divorced parenting roles.

Continue ReadingGet Into Your Divorce, Because with Kids You’ll Never Get Over It