Divorce

Divorce, once mentioned, is a slippery and difficult journey. As you pull apart the lives you’ve built together, there will be anger, resentment, frustration, and even joy, and ecstasy. But the divorce is hard on everyone. Listen for who needs support and then give your love and attention. Always.

POSITIVE DIVORCE (is a concept, an alignment, an intention I use as I go through life as a single dad.)

Divorce is one of the most disorienting events in my life. Everything was lost. I have made a point of trying to turn the bad points into positive information. I am here support you as best I can to lessen the impact on your children. Divorce is the beginning of a new journey. You can make it better for everyone by paying attention to what matters. Your anger at your ex needs to be handled on your own.

Co-parenting Revised: Sex and Drugs and Rock’n’Roll

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:February 12, 2016
Post category:Co-Parenting Dating Divorce Health and Fitness Married Life Money Parenting Self-care Sex Single-Dad

SEX: YES with protection; DRUGS: IF YOU WANT, when you're old enough: ROCKNROLL: MUSIC is good, you decide the genre.

Don’t Underestimate My Fragility or My Ferocity: Depression & Divorce

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:February 10, 2016
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Depression Divorce Health and Fitness humans of divorce Married Life Money Parenting Self-care Single-Dad Spirituality

I have a bit of a mood problem. It seems that when my life gets really tough (bounced checks, trouble at work, arguments at home) I sometimes collapse into a depression. It's not often, but when it happens it surprises everyone around me with the change in my energy, demeanor, and general outlook on life.

No More Homeless Dads: 50/50 Shared Parenting After Divorce

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:February 5, 2016
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Depression Divorce Health and Fitness humans of divorce Love Money Parenting Relationships Self-care Single-Dad

Dad's are just as important as moms. Even with young kids, the loss of either parent is one of the most painful aspects of divorce.

Hold On! The Information You’ve Been Given About Divorce is Wrong

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:February 2, 2016
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Divorce humans of divorce Married Life Money Parenting Relationships Self-care Single-Dad

While I don't blame my then-wife for "going for it" and asking for everything she wanted: the money, the house, the custody, I don't think she was thinking beyond her interests. And we can all cite studies about mothering and nurturing, but today, just as many modern studies show the dad is of equal importance in bringing up healthy kids.

A Good Man in a Storm, Even After Divorce

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:January 31, 2016
Post category:Anger Depression Divorce Health and Fitness Married Life Relationships Self-care Single-Dad

It was a reality I could not manage. In the end, it was a reality that should've split us up and did. I am now free to have a relationship with a woman who enjoys life, and who wakes up laughing as I do.

Minimizing The Collateral Damage of Depression and Divorce

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:January 26, 2016
Post category:Co-Parenting Depression Divorce humans of divorce Love Self-care Single-Dad

If I can leverage that into some measure of hopefulness, then I am well along my path of recovery. I don't have to aim for joy when I am activated and functioning properly.

Thinking About Doing It: Depression and Creativity

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:January 20, 2016
Post category:Depression Divorce Self-care Single-Dad

I'm coming out of my illness and beginning to feel my hopefulness again. But I'm not able to climb a quarter-mile hill right out of the gate, my first five minutes on a bike. It takes some time to build up to that. My friend who sold me his used bike said, "Start out in the flats, build up to it."

10 Things I’ve Learned In the 5 Years Since My Divorce

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:September 26, 2015
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Depression Divorce Drinking Health and Fitness Joy Love Married Life Money Parenting Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad

It's all about the kids. If you've still got a beef with your ex you need to get over it. There's no point. You might have disagreements about stuff, but those should be handled with the same intensity as a convenience store clerk.