Many men get tossed into the deadbeat dad category by their wives who are looking to score the package, regardless of the dad's parenting skills, their loving availability for their kids, and often discounting the dads even if they are the ones who hold down the emotional and logistical side of the household.
Depression showed up in many ways in my life. My management of these dark moods has become part of my lifetime discipline. Long-term sadness may be something deeper and more serious. Learn how to take charge of your depressive or manic cycles with mindfulness and a good support team.
Here are a few of my latest posts about managing my moods. Your results may vary. But, here’s the answer: keep going, depression comes in waves, you just have to keep moving forward, back into the positive things in your life. Sometimes it takes someone else to help you see the good in your life.
- Gone Dark Again, and Again: Reanimating After a Quiet Period
- A Covid-19 Panic Attack, Breakdown and My Fear of Depression
- Voyeurism, Sadness, and Traveling Alone: a Tincture of Depression
- Low Power Mode: Managing Depression and Energy
- We All Need Someone We Can Lean On
- DRINKING: Dancing with the Ghost of My Dead Father?
I have written mostly about my experience of depression after divorce. But I had depressive tendencies before I was married. And I still struggle with depressive episodes from time to time. Often triggered by a traumatic event, like a job loss or a relationship coming apart, being sad can become more of a personality trait if depression is not nipped in the bud.
Mindfulness is my answer to depression and my own depressive thoughts. It is critical for each of us to learn our depressive patterns, triggers, and solutions. What can I do when I’m starting to feel the dark slippery slope of depression?
The power of sex is back and I don't want to give it up now any more than I did when my marriage began to falter. This time, I don't have to suffer when things go off the rails, I can just pack up and move along to another potential mate.
Then as our lives spun into the dark void of micro-alienation and bitterness, and as my ex-wife continued to spit vile at me, I began this journey to become positive about all that I was going through.
The pitch: "Ferris Bueller gets a divorce."
We can hold on, we can fight/struggle/counsel to make things work. We can sacrifice so many aspects of our lives to try and keep the marriage together. And in this sublimation, we can become separated from our own inner truth, our own listening and responding heart, as we try and compromise and grow and hope for the eventual LOVE we believe will heal us.
After 11-years, my child support has been paid and my two children have launched from their mom's house. I am rebuilding for time lost with some success. What I lost I can never regain. What I can hope for is that my future years are going to be the best part of my relationship with my two kids.
I alone am responsible for how I navigate each day of my life. My care team comes into play when I have questions or need a fresh perspective on what I'm struggling with. Make sure you've got people around you that you can contact when you need them.
It will take a long time for me to rebuild my relationship with the kids, but I will. And they will know the story of this angry divorce saga over time. They will ask about "what happened?" They will ask about the lies.