Dating

Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.

For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”

I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.

We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.

Giving Up the Ghost of Your Love

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:February 9, 2023
Post category:Dating Depression Love relationship building Relationships Self-care Spirituality

It is not our job to fix broken relationships or broken people. Our job is to show up in the arena of a relationship and do the best we possibly can to love and be loved.

The Lies My Wife Told and Continued During Our Parenting Struggles

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:February 7, 2023
Post category:Co-Parenting Dating Divorce humans of divorce Married Life Parenting Relationships Self-care

If she doesn't' respond to my daughter, why would I think she's going to respond or even be friendly to me? I don't think about it much, anymore. It's so much more obvious as we now enter the 10th year of our co-parenting journey, that she really is a bit self-centered.

Letting Go Is Not Easy, My Secure/Insecure Attachment Issues

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:February 6, 2023
Post category:Dating mindfulness Relationships self-awareness Self-care

If interruptions or random connections begin to affect your present life, it's time to block, silence, and ignore. Sounds a bit rough, but continuing the connection, the conversation, and the reflection is counterproductive.

This Isn’t Wonderland: You’ll Stay Lost Without a Dating Plan

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:February 3, 2023
Post category:Dating humans of divorce Love relationship building Relationships self-awareness sexual chemistry

It is critical to articulate what you want in a partner. Then, stick to it. Don't settle for average.

Good Morning, I Love You (Learning Love Habits)

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:February 1, 2023
Post category:Dating humans of divorce Joy Love relationship building Relationships sexual chemistry

Show you love your partner by putting them first. Give them your time. Give them your attention and mini-connections throughout the day.

Sex Without Desire Is More Like Porn Than Lovemaking

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:January 3, 2023
Post category:Dating Love Married Life Relationships Self-care Sex

This might have spelled the end more clearly than I understood. She didn't want sex. She fought about sex. She complained about how I asked for sex. She always got off when we had sex, but she had started not-caring about the LOVE in the experience. And that was a deal killer, both in the moment and in our marriage.