Dating is simple. Relationships are hard work. Well, they can be hard work, or they can be temporarily effortless. I think that's what we're imagining when we jump back into the dating pool again. We remember the highs of love crushes, the sex, the joy, the "hi, I am soooo glad to see you" feelings that are bantered back and forth when you are establishing a new love relationship.
What do you need to cut the tether attaching you to this bag of these BULLSHIT-LIES you keep telling yourself? Write them down. Identify the "little black bastards" pulling you down.
Finally, if you're going to agree to a cooperative divorce, make sure you add in a clause about NEVER INVOLVING THE ATTORNEY GENERAL'S OFFICE. EVER.
Sure, you can lean into your kids' anger about the divorce. But your role as a parent is to help them separate their emotions from your emotions. Your anger has infused their entire lives.
I work with men and women who are looking to reset their priorities in life to align more with their long-term goals. What's keeping you from achieving your dreams? What parts of your life need attention?
Here's what I know. My ex-wife has nothing to do with my happiness or success. My positive approach to life is how I show up for my kids. They are watching us. They are learning from our actions. How we deal with hard times will inform and set their own internal compass for later in life as they run into challenges.
I simply let go and pay little or no attention to the things that are out of my control. What I have control over, I manage with greater joy and energy.
I can still wish the best for you. I can still love you and what we had together, while letting you drift peacefully out of my life. I can allow the silence to heal the loss between us.