I loved the family routine. I loved being their dad. I knew I was going to crash when I was no longer welcome in my own home. I knew depression was weeks away. I knew there was very little I could do to stop the sadness freight train that is divorce.
I am responsible for my actions alone. And my actions as a divorced dad have been 100% honest, 100% open, and 100% mom/kid-friendly. Her actions... Not so much.
It's been a hard journey as a single dad. But out of this wreckage, I hope I can bring the stories and lessons I've learned and continue to share them with others. Dads don't have to lose everything in a divorce.
My ex-wife is pressing me for money, not because she needs it, not because she thinks my son needs it, but because her brain is wired to think about money first, before all else.
When one parent checks out their options for divorce, they are beginning the process of separation and exit from the relationship. And hey, if they like the divorce brochure the attorney lays before them, they might even start leaning into divorce.
I did learn to love full-on in this marriage. I learned to put my whole soul into the project and come back with the joy of being a parent, and being in love, and being married. This total commitment is part of what blindsided me in the divorce.
I may not reach serenity with my ex-wife and her new husband ever. That's okay. The serenity is within me. I am doing, have done, and will do the best I can to support my kids and keep my relationship to them above the fray my ex continues to keep seething around us.
Divorce should start at 50/50. Shared custody. Shared bills. Shared hardships if one or more of the parents lose a job. Let the individual couples negotiate in Texas from that position, rather than the inequitable position we are presented with today.