1. Focus on yourself and your health/ 2. Give your kids 110% of your available attention / 3. Shutdown the angry communications with your ex
The love that rebreaks your broken parts so you can rebuild with trust and closeness. The BIG LOVE is a concept, but I'm going to outline how it's also a process for finding the BIG LOVE in your life.
If I am genuinely looking for a relationship and not just a date, then my concept of holding out for resonance becomes more critical. I've had a resonant partner once before. I know how that feels and how transformative that can be for both people. Anything less than that is a distraction.
A good father would've made a big difference in my life. As a father, I have always strived to be a good father, even when the decisions were not always what I wanted.
It's going to get easier. You are going to be okay. Your kids are going to be okay. And, at some point in the future, you're going to look back on this event (the divorce) as one of the defining moments in your life. Act well. Learn to lean into the process of becoming a single parent.
However, there's a different type of person out there. I was married to one. I have known of others. And they have a different set of criteria. They have flexibility when it comes to transparency and honesty.
In other words, 2 of the 5 people involved in our family system don't drink or smoke pot. That's a start.
My love and influence were dimmed by 70%. It's a shame when this happens to good dads or moms.