Once the connection is established and reality-testing routines have been operating for a few weeks, it might be time to give in to the optimism that says YES to everything and anything.
Perhaps imagining the right person is facilitated by online dating because we get to see how flexible and adaptive our sense of attraction is. But in reality, the real connections are walking right in front of us, we've just got to be better at saying "hello."
I'm a handful. I'm whimsical. I'm capricious. I have a lot of irons in the fire. And, sure, I demand a woman with a high level of confidence and well-seasoned experience in relationship building. We've got to both be into the evolution of becoming a couple.
Take your time. Find what turns you on. Make sure you know what you want and what you bring to a new relationship. Then, HAVE FUN.
I'm sensing some sort of "shoe ready to drop" but it's all in my mind at this point. It's like PTSD from my past relationships. I don't really recognize when I meet a healthy partner.
At this point in my life, 8 years divorced with two teenage kids, I have a lot of life ahead of me. As I see this woman standing beside me, I see a partner who can join with me in my dreams, who can challenge me in my beliefs and fallacies, and who is solid enough in her own life path that she shares joy and confidence in our potential lives together.
So, let's at least say, online dating is complicated. Even when we think we have our preferences and objectives clear in our mind, our animal drives can subvert our rational minds.
If I am genuinely looking for a relationship and not just a date, then my concept of holding out for resonance becomes more critical. I've had a resonant partner once before. I know how that feels and how transformative that can be for both people. Anything less than that is a distraction.