The New World Order of Dating: What’s the Path?
Take your time. Find what turns you on. Make sure you know what you want and what you bring to a new relationship. Then, HAVE FUN.
Take your time. Find what turns you on. Make sure you know what you want and what you bring to a new relationship. Then, HAVE FUN.
I'm sensing some sort of "shoe ready to drop" but it's all in my mind at this point. It's like PTSD from my past relationships. I don't really recognize when I meet a healthy partner.
Getting into a relationship with a willing and joyful partner is only the first step. Building a relationship from scratch is about communication, negotiation, and conflict resolution.
So with that, even for a week, I am — in theory — off the market, off eHarmony, off the matching of match.com. Because all that “dating” crap is really distracting when what you really want is a friend, not a date.
At this point in my life, 8 years divorced with two teenage kids, I have a lot of life ahead of me. As I see this woman standing beside me, I see a partner who can join with me in my dreams, who can challenge me in my beliefs and fallacies, and who is solid enough in her own life path that she shares joy and confidence in our potential lives together.
If I am genuinely looking for a relationship and not just a date, then my concept of holding out for resonance becomes more critical. I've had a resonant partner once before. I know how that feels and how transformative that can be for both people. Anything less than that is a distraction.
Get right with yourself before moving on to partner with another person. You'll be much more attractive to other healthy people, and better equipped to see and avoid negative relationships.
However, there's a different type of person out there. I was married to one. I have known of others. And they have a different set of criteria. They have flexibility when it comes to transparency and honesty.