Finding Our Way Forward As Dads Before, During, and After Divorce

I do think my ex-wife and I could've agreed to 50/50 parenting and gotten a judge to sign off on our agreement. But she would never have given up her legal/strategic advantage. Perhaps she was doing what she thought was best for the children. Perhaps. But I think she was more self-centered than that, she was doing what she wanted, regardless of the impact on the kids.

Continue Reading Finding Our Way Forward As Dads Before, During, and After Divorce

Taking the Long Way Home: My Divorce Journey Back to Joy

What I wanted (what I want) is stability and trust. What I want is something more authentic than I had in my marriage or with my fiance. What I want is someone who can lean into the troubles and work them out. What I want is someone who can express affection easily and frequently.

Continue Reading Taking the Long Way Home: My Divorce Journey Back to Joy

Grief is Underneath: A Divorce Fable

I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name grief. Underneath that rage at me, must be sadness. I feel it when I touch the anger inside myself about how I've been treated since the divorce. I'm sad because we were so close. I'm sad because we still share two wonderful children that are affected by such rage and unresolved anger.

Continue Reading Grief is Underneath: A Divorce Fable

After Divorce w/ Kids: You Won’t Believe How Good It Can Get

The more amazing thing about finding love again is when you find the flow of energy and affirmations is easily expressed by both partners. This new connection is stronger and purer than anything I've experienced in my life.

Continue Reading After Divorce w/ Kids: You Won’t Believe How Good It Can Get

Two Beautiful Women and Two Cups of Coffee: How This All Got Started

I walked away from that coffee with a new understanding of myself, online dating, and what I was interested in. From then on, if the person didn't have something extraordinary going on, some really amazing trait, or some smashingly witty banter in her messaging, I wasn't interested.

Continue Reading Two Beautiful Women and Two Cups of Coffee: How This All Got Started

Going for Gratitude with Your Co-Parent, No Matter What

Today, I have everything I need. I may not be close to having everything I want. But my basics (food, shelter, safety, community) are pretty well covered. Today I can forgive my ex and focus on my kids and their well-being.

Continue Reading Going for Gratitude with Your Co-Parent, No Matter What

Single Dad Is Getting Too Close to the Sun: Managing My Moods

My most recent bouts of depression were triggered by my divorce, but it's a lifelong journey for me. I can drink. I can stop drinking. But I'm not sure how good I am at getting sad and not turning on the sadness fire hose at the first sign of things going off.

Continue Reading Single Dad Is Getting Too Close to the Sun: Managing My Moods

The Kids are All Right: A Dad’s Divorce Reflections

Today I have more energy and joy for them when they are with me. I'm happier in my life than I was in the later years of my marriage. My kids are seeing me living my life to it's fullest. And when they are part of my life, I get to rub off on them as much as I can.

Continue Reading The Kids are All Right: A Dad’s Divorce Reflections