You deserve a kick-ass relationship. You deserve honesty, monogamy, and awesome sex. Make sure you're not settling for Mr./Mrs. Meh. In the long run, only the magic will preserve your relationship, so you'd better get on with the task of finding THE ONE.
SEX: YES with protection; DRUGS: IF YOU WANT, when you're old enough: ROCKNROLL: MUSIC is good, you decide the genre.
Yes, divorce is hard. Trying to whitewash every single detail of a co-parenting relationship in some fantasy land haze would be of benefit to none of us. I am committed to owning my part in the divorce, always. And I am hopefully clear on my self-awareness when it comes to my own struggles with money, depression, communication breakdowns, and disagreements with my ex-wife.
My ex-wife and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. But one thing we've kept relatively clear over the last 5 years of divorce is THE KIDS COME FIRST. Always.
We tore up the 50/50 schedule that I brought into the counseling session. We started again with the SPO and the non-custodial rights and responsibilities. And while I gave up a huge piece of my "dad time" that day, I've never stopped working to show up for my kids at every opportunity afforded me.
Unless I want to sue her, but that's contrary to my entire premise of the positive co-parent. I'm learning to be better, more forgiving, and more loving, even of my ex-wife.
I will be in the process of recalibrating my life in relationship to my ex-wife probably for the rest of my life. Even after the kids are off and doing their own lives, there are always collective contributions that need to be made, adult advice that needs to be given, and we will never fully separate from the relationship.
Sitting around that table, telling 15 people I'd just met about how I hoped to make it past 9 am on the next day, was a liberating experience.