Voyeurism, Sadness, and Traveling Alone: a Tincture of Depression

It's amazing to be away from your lover and feel the feelings of longing and pain. Remembering what it was like when we were not in a relationship. I crave being in a relationship. And today, I am lucky. I am loved and in a loving relationship.

Continue ReadingVoyeurism, Sadness, and Traveling Alone: a Tincture of Depression

Little Ghosts Still Flutter My Heart: a Depression Story

For me, depression is a lot about getting afraid and then continuing to listen to the fear more than the present. I've used some mantras during my walks that have seemed to push me up the hills with more energy and joy. "Further, Stronger, Healthier, and Happier."

Continue ReadingLittle Ghosts Still Flutter My Heart: a Depression Story

Grief is Underneath: A Divorce Fable

I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name grief. Underneath that rage at me, must be sadness. I feel it when I touch the anger inside myself about how I've been treated since the divorce. I'm sad because we were so close. I'm sad because we still share two wonderful children that are affected by such rage and unresolved anger.

Continue ReadingGrief is Underneath: A Divorce Fable

Erectile Misfire Might Be More About the Sex Than the Dysfunction

Sex is all in the mind. If your mind is elsewhere, I'd rather let you go do whatever it is that is distracting you from being enthusiastically present with me. The several times I wondered about my own sexual potency, I realized it was much more about my heart and my intention in making love in the first place.

Continue ReadingErectile Misfire Might Be More About the Sex Than the Dysfunction

When I Stopped Believing – And Started Growing Up

The afternoon we told the kids, together, was one of the saddest moments in my life. But it was sad for my little boy, for the death of THAT dream. I had some hope that MY kids would be okay. I knew that I was not going to turn into an alcoholic or rage-filled bastard.

Continue ReadingWhen I Stopped Believing – And Started Growing Up