WARNING: In 5 minutes you are going out the door of this plane-in-flight whether you want to or not.
Here’s your divorce supply list:
- 1 Used Jetpack (no instructions)
- Craigslist (for rent) pages
- Half-priced books “divorce” section
- Coffee shops and restaurants for internet access (ah, the web)
- An appointment with a divorce counselor
- An appointment with a divorce finance counselor
- An appointment with a lawyer
- What you can pack in a few bags
At least now you know what’s going on. Don’t panic. You can make it through this. The first step, taken willingly or with a push, is the hardest. And after a while, even free fall won’t be so terrifying.
The first problem is, you have a jetpack and not a parachute. Here are some ideas about how to get yours started and even potential sources of fuel.
- Journal about what’s happening – you don’t have to start a blog, just begin putting down the words, in writing, not in your head
- Get some exercise – even a walk is better than no walk. The internet and research will still be there when you get back. I know you don’t want to.
- Remember the wider world of life – take a trip into nature, swimming, find ways to help others
- Find a tribe or two to hang with – you’re not alone in this loss and disorientation, find a group to chat with, a recovery group to heal your issues, go be with friends even if you don’t really want to be seen in your current state (they won’t mind)
- Discover computer games again (you may find gaming as a way to reconnect or stay connected with your kids. Caveat: don’t overdo it with escaping into computer games, make sure you’re getting your work and other healthy things done too.)
- Uncover the world of the opposite sex again – I’m not advocating porn or strip clubs or erotica, but I am saying it could help lessen some of the shock (caveat: “I slept and stayed up late cuddling with the internet. Computers and videos make terrible lovers.”
- Sleep well (if you are having a hard time sleeping get some help, drink less caffeine, in sleep so much of our brain repairs from the stress of the day. And you are in major stress.)
- Eat as well as you can (Opt for the salad over the burger when it’s feasible. Sure, comfort foods are okay, just watch the intake so the waist doesn’t balloon up)
I know that’s not much to hang on to as you are edged towards the abyss. But you have to trust that it’s enough. You’re gonna make it back to Earth.
Take a deep breath and count to ten.
As a certified life coach, I’ve been helping men and women find fulfilling life after divorce. If you’d like to chat for 30-minutes about your dating/relationship challenges, I always give the first 30-session away for free. LEARN ABOUT COACHING WITH JOHN. There are no obligations to continue. But I get excited every time I talk to someone new. I can offer new perspectives and experiences from my post-divorce journey. Most of all, I can offer hope.
Back to Positive Divorce & Co-Parenting
- The Joy of Divorce and the 3 Gifts of Breaking Up
- The Hero’s Journey of a Divorced Dad
- Focusing On the Other Person is a Trap
- The Spiritual Quest for Love
- The 3 Immutable Laws of Positive Co-Parenting
- The Transcendent Single Father
- The Positive Divorce is Up To You: The Two Levels of Healing
* image from Jetpack Joyride (iPhone app)