My self-acceptance is not quite what I would call self-love, but I really appreciate the term self-care. And by caring for myself I am showing love for parts of myself I have always tried to hide.
If I had it to do all over again, I'd probably argue with the counselor and my ex-wife and negotiate something a bit more even. You will be advised not to do this. "It's easier for everyone if you just accept this plan, it's been working for families for years."
Two smart people with good intentions entered into a contract and sprouted two beautiful kids. What would've gone wrong did. And the foundation which still seemed strong and intact to me, was no longer sustainable for her.
My attempt to reconnect with myself and my more age-desired vision of beauty has changed dramatically from my Playboy-hazed youth. And as I try to decouple my image of beauty from the mass media obsession I look to find beauty in women all shapes and more within the realistic construct of my own fitness.
You can keep playing around on Tinder and the like. Or you can get on with your life and living and engage with people who are equally engaged with their lives. You need someone who's happy and thriving on their own. Who wants a relationship, but only when it's right. You need someone who is not wasting time chatting online with super-attractive partners who are 10-years younger.
How do you self-regulate when you are dating? When things start going REALLY WELL, how do you moderate yourself? If you're a super-sensual person, is it harder for you to say "no" to the intoxicating high of sex and the love hormones?
There is no bridge that's going to make our relationship work again, so my longing necessarily stayed in my own heart. There is no sense in sharing our desires and hopes when the other person is not available. It only makes it hurt worse.
(The first guest post from Sharona of P.M. Zee - voices from the other side of the Whole Parent equation.) It was a little like looking through a microscope for…