Becoming a single dad was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I did not want the divorce, I fought against the divorce, and ultimately I agreed to collaborative divorce and was taken to the cleaners by an ex who decided to go for the “divorce package” rather than honor our 50/50 shared parenting agreement.
Not a percentage of salary earned. No, she believed, still believes, that the child support is her entitlement. This is no longer a relationship it's just a business contract. I am no longer a person to her, I'm a debtor. I'm the problem. I'm the reason she's unhappy.
Are you sexually fulfilled in your relationship? Can you make a request of your partner, to help get you closer, more excited about sex compromises are you willing to accept about sex as you move forward in the relationship?
But I'm curious, for a population in their 40s - 50s, with "families" already established if the sexual drive is more similar in men and women? Do we both enjoy the sexual thoughts that come from people watching? Aren't we essentially doing the same thing? Asking that tried and true question of our inexperienced, and pre-family youth, "Would ya do them?"
Regardless of what you hear from your girlfriends or boyfriends or legal counsel, it's best if the kids have equal access to both parents.
I am happier when I am in a relationship. My body is happier. My soul is glowing with the connection I feel to another human being. And my needs are being met on all levels, as we align ourselves and tune into each other's lives.
The complications in a teenaged boy's life are many. Dad's love should not be another complication. I am here for him. And I can chill out a bit on my outreach. He knows I'm here. I have always been here.
Be good to yourself. Expect the best. Settle for nothing less than 100%. Sure, there is some flexibility with the nice-to-haves, but zero flex with the must-haves and red flags.
So she's mad. She got what she wanted and she's still mad. Oh, and I'm still writing. I guess that's the hot poker that is still painfully inserted and irremovable.