Parenting is the biggest adventure you can set in motion. By becoming parents you are agreeing to give a priority to your children, over yourself. The sacrifice of becoming a parent is about making a better life for our kids.
As parents, our relationship may not work out. In divorce, we’ve got an opportunity to remain connected as a cooperative co-parent. Our role as divorced parents is to support our kids with less concern for ourselves or our disappointment in our ex-partner. It is important to leave your anger and frustration behind, and pay attention to your kids and their needs.
When anger is quick and easily resolved the issues don't stick around much. Try and process the little anger while it is happening. Try and take the BIG ANGER offline, out of the relationship for a moment, and come back with some ideas of how to do things differently.
I was lead to believe that the kids needed their mom more than me, that a mom's love is somehow superior, or more comforting than a dad's love.
The rest is negotiation, navigation, and nurture. We've both got work ahead of us. We are always in a state of becoming. But today, I have my lifetime cheerleader beside me. And I'm always ready joyfully embrace her in all of her flaws and misdirections. We've all got them.
I hope my words bring you some comfort no matter what darkness you or a loved one are experiencing. I can't be there for you. Only you can be your own savior.
I am not lost. I am sad. I am strong. And my sister used to tell me in her hippie-spiritual way, "Everything is in its right place."
Keeping sexual communication open throughout your relationship is critical. As one partner starts closing off, and not just having periods of low sexual desire, but shutting down the idea of sex, something is going to break down.
It is only by recovery that we stop the pattern of abuse, neglect, infidelity, and other love destroyers.
You deserve a great life. You deserve a huge bonfire of love and happiness. The Sparks are right inside you. The kindling of your life and the power of your attention are all you need to light your fire. Light it.