Parenting is the biggest adventure you can set in motion. By becoming parents you are agreeing to give a priority to your children, over yourself. The sacrifice of becoming a parent is about making a better life for our kids.
As parents, our relationship may not work out. In divorce, we’ve got an opportunity to remain connected as a cooperative co-parent. Our role as divorced parents is to support our kids with less concern for ourselves or our disappointment in our ex-partner. It is important to leave your anger and frustration behind, and pay attention to your kids and their needs.
I like to be on top of the world, as most of us do, but I haven't done very well in the past when I sink into "maintenance mode" rather than aspirational mode. What I learned from my last stumble is that I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY.
Finding the balance in our lives requires self-awareness and the discipline, time, and energy to carry out our creative plans.
Everything is great. My kids are great. My ex is great. And my, you are great too. I'm so happy. I'm the most positive person most of my friends have ever met. I just radiate this positive energy. "You can feel it, right?" Stand back from Mr. Yes.
As a co-parent to a narcissistic is has not been easy. In most of the negotiations, I was given no chance to be on top.
If you can pause and consider the gap when you feel frustrated or impatient, you can tune in to your own feelings more accurately. And if you give your partner the opportunity to fill the gap you may learn something you didn't know, and something you couldn't have learned had you continued to be a gap crasher.
Something about my celebration of my kids, my ability to house them while it was my weekend, caused my ex-wife more fury.
Some days it is good to just stop and say "thank you" to your higher power, your family, your partner. Today is that day. I'm marking a high-point in my life.
It's my job to help work together with one or both of the parents to create a positive outcome for everyone involved.