Embracing the Win in My 12-years As a Single Dad
Once I took my own anger out of the communication loop I began to heal and move on to the next stage.
Parenting is the biggest adventure you can set in motion. By becoming parents you are agreeing to give a priority to your children, over yourself. The sacrifice of becoming a parent is about making a better life for our kids.
As parents, our relationship may not work out. In divorce, we’ve got an opportunity to remain connected as a cooperative co-parent. Our role as divorced parents is to support our kids with less concern for ourselves or our disappointment in our ex-partner. It is important to leave your anger and frustration behind, and pay attention to your kids and their needs.
Once I took my own anger out of the communication loop I began to heal and move on to the next stage.
But, dear son, don't say "Sorry," when you are not sorry. Don't make excuses for not picking up the phone call and saying "I can't talk to you right now. Love you."
I launched The Whole Parent. I proudly put my name on the posts I began writing about learning to cope as a single dad with a less than cooperative co-parent.
The first time when we were making love during this period, that I noticed things were off, I caught her looking out the window, seemingly bored. "Are you okay?" I asked.
She still cannot see how planting discontent on my kids towards me is hurting them more than it's hurting us. She is actively damaging her own relationship with her kids over MONEY.
Today, nearly a year later, I am still a deadbeat dad on the record. Despite several calls to the AG's office and several agreements to resolve and close the child support account, I am still in arrears by $1.39.
It's been the most intense and transformative month of my young 55-year-old life. I felt at times like my skin was being burnt away by the velocity of the change underway. The pace of change, conflict, resolution, conflict, opportunity, and so on, was exhausting. I stopped drinking coffee because I didn't need any stimulants. I adjusted my psyche meds to reduce activation.
I genuinely believe that family laws are corrupt and need to be reset to start at 50/50 parenting with no child support. I love helping moms understand single dads and how to relate to them.