Let go of your anger in any way you can, that does not involve your kids or your ex. And rebuild your best life by focusing on your actions and words. Move forward towards the hope that your kids will be healthy and undamaged by the divorce.
Parenting is the biggest adventure you can set in motion. By becoming parents you are agreeing to give a priority to your children, over yourself. The sacrifice of becoming a parent is about making a better life for our kids.
- Dad vs. Moms: We’re All #Parents or #SingleParents
- Dear Ex, We Are Different By Design
- Moving from WE to US: How Becoming Parents Grows Our Love – Episode 8
- Bad Habits We’re Supposed To Outgrow As We Become Parents
- The Prayer for All Single Parents (downloadable)
- The Blurry Lines Between Divorced Parents: Entitlement & Narcissism
- The Joy of Young Parents
- The Love Hurricane: Becoming Parents
- Love All Parents: The Single Parent’s Manifesto
As parents, our relationship may not work out. In divorce, we’ve got an opportunity to remain connected as a cooperative co-parent. Our role as divorced parents is to support our kids with less concern for ourselves or our disappointment in our ex-partner. It is important to leave your anger and frustration behind, and pay attention to your kids and their needs.
Many men get tossed into the deadbeat dad category by their wives who are looking to score the package, regardless of the dad's parenting skills, their loving availability for their kids, and often discounting the dads even if they are the ones who hold down the emotional and logistical side of the household.
Then as our lives spun into the dark void of micro-alienation and bitterness, and as my ex-wife continued to spit vile at me, I began this journey to become positive about all that I was going through.
The pitch: "Ferris Bueller gets a divorce."
We can hold on, we can fight/struggle/counsel to make things work. We can sacrifice so many aspects of our lives to try and keep the marriage together. And in this sublimation, we can become separated from our own inner truth, our own listening and responding heart, as we try and compromise and grow and hope for the eventual LOVE we believe will heal us.
However, there's a different type of person out there. I was married to one. I have known of others. And they have a different set of criteria. They have flexibility when it comes to transparency and honesty.
There is absolutely no hurry. You have all the time you need. Spend time together. Spend time apart. Listen. Learn. And move forward.
Home is inside me. Home with someone else is a horizon I knew I was losing in my divorce. After eleven years of seeking, perhaps I'm getting ready to rebuild a home with someone else.