Love is the core skill and core need we all have. Many of us grew up in homes where love was conditional. If you behave this way I will love you. If you go against my wishes, I will exclude you from my love. This is not how love works. Love is universal energy, either you’re tapped into it and give it freely, or you are lacking in love.
Without a solid self-awareness and a good road map of what you're looking for in a relationship, you might begin to feel dating (or online dating) is crap. That might be the case, but it's also a reality that tons of people move on from bad relationships, and find healthy relationships all the time. It takes work.
I'm almost always hopeful and joyous about this new journey. As a single dad, I have more time and more complications than when I was married. And if we can find the balance of these three traits between us, perhaps we can build "what's next" together.
What are some ways you can nurture your loving relationship every single day of this month? And then, continue next month. And forever.
I am convinced that through active participation and a cooperative approach to love, I can establish and maintain a loving partnership on into my later years. To be walking on a beach somewhere, with my partner, and doting on our grandkids and our kids, together.
We want to show up in our relationships fully formed, fully empowered, and fully healed. If one of the partners is struggling or has less experience, it's important to notice the imbalance, and yet not label it as "their problem" vs "your problem."
What does it look like when you are happy? What are you doing? If your best case scenario involves continuing to do that (play tennis, in my case) then perhaps you need to look into participating more. The apps are okay for spreading your reach and resetting your ambition, but you need to be doing your dream first, then the right person might come along beside you on a bike ride and say, "Hello."
It is time to evaluate all of the relationships in your life and set boundaries and priorities with each of them. Some people will need to be removed.
She doesn't need to force me into a plan. And I don't need to buck against her plan or freak out when it hasn't been put forth. We are indeed already married in every way but two.