Finding joy in your life is a big part of the plan.
I believe we have set points, but not of happiness, of joy. I know that even in moments of extreme grief I can feel joy. Joy is a pursuit. Joy is either a focus of your attention or not. It’s kind of like being positive, but it’s different.
Joy is different than happiness. Joy is part of our internal compass. You’ve got to find your own inner joy. It’s a big shift, this focus on inner joy and not outer happiness. I cannot control many of the aspects of my life. I am not always happy. But, I am learning to be always joyful.
If you are going to love deeply, you become more susceptible to fear. The more we come to depend on the reciprocal affection of another person the more put ourselves at risk of a painful loss should the relationship not work out. Even in our everyday relationships, caring deeply about someone comes with risks.
And what should be my mantra, SLOW DOWN. How, how, how to slow down? The universe sometimes has ways of pausing my plans and ambitions. So for this moment, I'll watch, listen, and learn. That's the hope, anyway.
I am shouting at the moon and telling the universe, "Here I am, fully awake and fully empowered. Show me a partner who can bring their empowered love to join with me."
My inner dialogue and my personal biographical story continue to be written even when I cannot share this night. My hope is that the gossamer connections between us will still carry enough energy and information to keep our souls interested in reconnecting and rejoining and that we both find the desire and time to make it happen.
We don't want to be alone, but it's better than spending a lot of time on a partnership that is one-sided. A relationship requires both partners to be equally committed to the journey.
I am excited and terrified about the transformation that will occur when SHE shows up. And yet I am pushing towards her, calling her in, writing love poems to "HER." I can only imagine... And for now, that's all I've got. And these maps, which I will gladly set alight in her flame.
When your partner's actions are AWAY from you rather than TOWARDS you, it is time to go.
We don't need our partners to turn into BLGs too. We need our partners to accept and appreciate our white-hot love and then find their own lover within. Our partners do have to return some of the love. Our partners do have to respond with loving feedback. And if we dial up the chemistry just right...