Finding joy in your life is a big part of the plan.

I believe we have set points, but not of happiness, of joy. I know that even in moments of extreme grief I can feel joy. Joy is a pursuit. Joy is either a focus of your attention or not. It’s kind of like being positive, but it’s different.

Joy is different than happiness. Joy is part of our internal compass. You’ve got to find your own inner joy. It’s a big shift, this focus on inner joy and not outer happiness. I cannot control many of the aspects of my life. I am not always happy. But, I am learning to be always joyful.

A Radical Approach to Joy

I can. I am. And I am learning to be better to myself. I'm good with others. I have compassion, empathy, and support for just about any struggle my friends or family are going through. But when I look at myself and my failures, I'm often harsh and shaming.

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Have You Forgotten How To Love Yourself? Future Relationships

And each time I strive towards a lover and a lifetime partner, I open my heart in a new way with a new resolve to be the best partner and lover I can be. Until I find the woman who can push back completely into my love hurricane and match it with a tsunami of their own, I'm going to keep seeking.

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Dear Lover, I Want Everything Right Now

I am learning to ask. I am learning to fall completely head-over-heels in love. Perhaps my choices have not all worked out, but they have all involved 100% effort on my part. And my love has soared to higher highs than I knew possible.

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Online Dating Update: Breathe It All In, Love It All Out

When you are involved in something vigorous, your attention and judgment are often heightened. You are more likely to get a true read on a partner while you are playing tennis, for example.

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Cracking Open the Heart of the Sky and Feeling Happy

You've got to keep going. Your partner is out there. You've got to stay true to your path, true to your goals and boundaries, and give each person the flexibility to show up in your life and be a YES.

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