Get right with yourself before moving on to partner with another person. You'll be much more attractive to other healthy people, and better equipped to see and avoid negative relationships.
Hitting delete instead of send can make all the difference. I had another one of those moments this morning. An email from the mother of my children saying some passive-aggressive things…
The main thing to remember as the divorce s-storm is heading your way is to take care of yourself. Like on the airplane when they say to put your mask on first and then your kid's masks. That's so you are conscious to be able to help them. Divorce is the same way. Take the time you need before jumping back into a relationship. Enjoy your freedom. Explore your alone time.
I'm not all that good at dating yet. I mean, I don't really know how to BE. I try to be "myself" of course, but I'm too involved, too hyper, too talkative. I don't listen as well as I should. But the part of the problem, that I'm just beginning to understand, is my habit of projecting any "potential" relationship off into some imaginary future. What I mean is, I sometimes have a problem staying present.
A love poem is the potential for love. A love poem is a prayer for the coming of love, or a swan song for the loss of love. The more we listen, the more we hear the love poetry all around us, moving towards us and away from us inside our very minds.
In my joyous engagement I was missing something from her that I couldn't identify. I thought I was listening well, responding well, and behaving well. I thought we were moving things along nicely. But I could only make those assumptions about myself and my own thinking.
Spend time together. Keep checking in with each other and with yourself. "How does it feel?" Let the answer to that question guide your relationship decisions. And remember, kissing can lead to lovemaking, if you both want to head in that direction.
The Radiohead album In Rainbows has gotten me through a lot of tough stretches. Tonight I got close to a final mix on their amazing song, All I Need. There's…