humans of divorce

What a Single Dad Still Wants in a Relationship (first 9-months)

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:July 30, 2014
Post category:Dating humans of divorce Joy Love Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad

So we don't really have a word for what we "are." I don't like dating, so I'm not dating her. She doesn't like the idea of a long-term relationship so we're not doing that either. Do we need an easy handle on what we are forming between us? No. Is it more convenient if you are able to say, my boyfriend and my girlfriend? Maybe a tad better than my lover, or my life-mate. But please, we're splitting hairs. Do we like to be together? Yes. Are there things we like to do together besides fool around in bed? Yes. Then do that. Do all of that.

Dear Single Mom: Listen, I Was Your Son, I Get It

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:July 27, 2014
Post category:Co-Parenting Depression Divorce humans of divorce Love Parenting Single-Dad

Take one step back the next time you want to overly defend your son. Take one breath before rushing in as he's dealing with issues. Give his little spirit time to develop. (Even with less of your "inspiration and help," he will get there.)

Is It Love We’re After? Looking for a Long-term Relationship

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:July 19, 2014
Post category:Co-Parenting Dating Health and Fitness humans of divorce Love Relationships Sex Single-Dad

The two of us have been through a lot already. We've jumped through some burning hoops to see the next layer of protection being stripped away. We are pretty close to the pure joy of finding time together and knowing that we will enjoy the company of this other person until something else comes along.

The Money After Divorce Manifesto: A Neverending Story

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:July 11, 2014
Post category:Anger Co-Parenting Divorce humans of divorce Married Life Money Parenting Relationships Self-care Single-Dad

Suffering under massive financial hardship due to the initial divorce decree can be important for your survival and ability to thrive in your new life. Sure, you're going to court, but you had to do this in some form before to get divorced, and if it's absolutely necessary, at least make it as non-confrontational as possible.

We Have So Few Chances to Feel Loved: Online Dating Challenges

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:July 8, 2014
Post category:Dating Divorce humans of divorce Joy relationship building Relationships Self-care Sex Single-Dad

During my failing marriage, I got very good at listening for the sirens of destruction (I had done something wrong) and looking for an escape or some heroic journey to fix the problem. Both in my marriage and in this relationship, that was not the right approach.

Father, My Father: Forgiving My Dad and Myself

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:June 13, 2014
Post category:Co-Parenting Depression Divorce humans of divorce Love Parenting self-awareness Self-care Single-Dad Spirituality

And as I forgive my father for his loss of control and family, for the divorce, and for not taking care of himself long enough to see me and my kids. Today, I forgive him, but I am also learning to forgive myself for the failure of my marriage.

What “Responsible Separation” Means

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:June 4, 2014
Post category:Co-Parenting Depression Divorce humans of divorce Married Life Money Parenting Relationships Single-Dad

I wanted her to be something different. She wanted me to be something different. We didn't agree to a separation, we got a divorce. BUT, we tried, and continue to try, to make it a responsible separation. We do our best every day as co-parents.

The Transformation of Love and Parenting in Marriage and Divorce

Post author:John McElhenney
Post published:May 25, 2014
Post category:Co-Parenting Divorce humans of divorce Love Married Life Parenting relationship building Relationships Self-care Single-Dad

I believe that our child-centered lifestyle and choices allowed us to let go of the marriage in favor of the kids' welfare. Regardless of who blinked first in the marriage, in the end, it is a mutual decision.