Divorce is a cruel storm. If we could see our ex-partners as humans rather than combatants, we could begin to heal the pain. We’re in this together, no matter how it turns out. Humans of Divorce are people who are doing their best in spite of the negative actions of their co-parent.
Do things you love to do and as the other person to join you. Join the other person in the things they like to do. Watch and learn how each of you deals with hardships and see if you can find a supportive way to remain close and connected.
I tell friends that I'm getting married and I get that look. Like, "What? Are you kidding?" I'm not kidding. I'm proud of the fact that I've found my next mate. And should I be as tenacious as I was in my second marriage, I think this one might be for keeps.
One positive parent can make 100% of the difference. I'm not perfect, and occasionally I want to lash out when she does something that seems unreasonable. I don't. I never do.
This morning I give thanks for the flexibility and caring my ex-wife shows me and my kids when they ask for some new connection. We've both worked hard to get here. And as we work better together everyone benefits.
In my future, I have my ex-wife to thank for the hardship of used car loan rates in excess of 19%. And she could care less. She claims to be all compassionate and always interested in protecting the kids' interests. But suing your co-parent is not protecting anyone's interest.
It's all new territory for me and most of us out there dating again after divorce. And I'm okay with that. We're all just trying to figure it out. It's a process. Onward we go with good illumination and perhaps a glass of wine.
You can't control the other parent. But you can choose your response. If you can diffuse the urgency and your need to be right, smart, witty, or even a jerk, you will go along way towards lessening the drama and making things easier for both you and your kids.
What is an evening with your kids worth? Is there an amount of money or time spent elsewhere that I wouldn't give to have more time with my kids?