Divorce is a cruel storm. If we could see our ex-partners as humans rather than combatants, we could begin to heal the pain. We’re in this together, no matter how it turns out. Humans of Divorce are people who are doing their best in spite of the negative actions of their co-parent.
Always ask for what you need. Your partner cannot read your mind. And that angry look your giving them may not convey what you're hoping to convey. Talk about it. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
Mom's don't deserve child support any more than dads do. Federal family law begs to differ, but I believe we should be equal parents across the board: time, money, and custodial rights.
I like to drive fast. This is a constant opportunity to tap into the irritating nature of the present moment. As I want to go fast (both in the car and in my life) I am always pushing up against the slower cars of the rapidly growing population of our fair city.
If we could balance out the misguided and harmful family court system in favor of a 50/50 cooperative parenting culture, we would have healthier kids. We would also see fewer wealthy bulldog divorce attorneys hawking their winning strategies. In a divorce, no one wins. But in divorce moms and dads should be considered equally.
There is no DAY OFF in a loving relationship. There may be easy days and hard days, but every day is an opportunity to turn towards your lover and say, "I love you," as well as "I need you." It is in that place of vulnerability and honesty that we will find the true gift of a loving relationship.
In the nine and a half years since the divorce, I have seen my daughter approximately 8 days to every 22 days that my ex-wife gets to see her. This arrangement seems to support the idea that the mom is the primary caregiver in the family, or that moms deserve the majority of the children's time.
Today, I'd like you to consider that both parents are equally important in their kids' lives. And then I'd like you to promise to act accordingly for the rest of your lives as parents.
I believe we cannot heal from our divorce/relationship trauma without getting back into the ring and giving it another go. Only IN RELATIONSHIP can we learn how to be healthy in a relationship.