The 7 Things You Learn When Seeking Love Again
When I am ready in my soul, the relationship, the woman, will show up. She will stand in. And we will both be served in our individual quests for our own souls.
Divorce is a cruel storm. If we could see our ex-partners as humans rather than combatants, we could begin to heal the pain. We’re in this together, no matter how it turns out. Humans of Divorce are people who are doing their best in spite of the negative actions of their co-parent.
When I am ready in my soul, the relationship, the woman, will show up. She will stand in. And we will both be served in our individual quests for our own souls.
Whatever the motivation or past, we are now a family in divorce. We have commitments and connections that will never cease between all of us. And in my attempts to heal myself I hope to continue to be a positive influence on my kids and ex's lives. We're in this together. Let's evolve to a higher discussion.
Parenting is a journey best shared by both partners. I am strong enough to engage with love and caring and the knowledge, that somehow she believed leaving me out of the loop was the best option for my son.
Today, I have everything I need. I may not be close to having everything I want. But my basics (food, shelter, safety, community) are pretty well covered. Today I can forgive my ex and focus on my kids and their well-being.
Upstairs another door flew open and dapper son Badly Buzy Ben announced, "Breakfast? What's for breakfast?" as he stomped down the stairs. His hair was perfectly done and his suit looked freshly pressed. The blue tie matching and shining in concert with his pocket square.
I lost everything in that moment. I lost my fighting spirit. I agreed to the Standard Possession Order (SPO) schedule and I agreed to let my wife be the custodial parent.
Co-parenting is a cooperative relationship. When one of the partners decides to be uncooperative it changes the dynamics. However, as a positive parent, you can be the bigger partner. Choosing the positive is about every aspect of your life, and your kids are the most important relationship you can manage.
Today I focus on my happy and well-adjusted kids. She's 50% of that parenting team. And while she still holds the loaded gun to my head financially, she's kept her mom-hat and mom-responsibility in the proper ratio.