The silence and loneliness and grief brought me back to a deeper connection to my own soul. A deeper connection with myself. And that ever-elusive self-love.
When you lose your kids to divorce and then to teenagehood, you really have to begin letting them go. It's only two years before my son will be heading out on his big adventure. What can I do with him in the next two years? How can I show up for both of them?
The outcome is not up to me. I am responsible for my actions. I am responsible for nailing one of the next three job interviews. I am responsible for explaining to the potential employer that contrary to my credit report, I am NOT A DEADBEAT DAD.
Let's do it differently, please. I'd like things to be different between my ex-wife and me. I'd like us to be friends. I'd like us to be cordial and be…
You can't control the other parent. But you can choose your response. If you can diffuse the urgency and your need to be right, smart, witty, or even a jerk, you will go along way towards lessening the drama and making things easier for both you and your kids.
You can win at divorce, but only by staying to the high road in all interactions. Now is my chance to get on with MY living as a dad, as a boyfriend, and as an ex-husband. Let me do the best at all three.
My ex-wife and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. But one thing we've kept relatively clear over the last 5 years of divorce is THE KIDS COME FIRST. Always.
If you put your kids first you may need to fight to get what you want. And by putting your kids first, sometimes you may have to fight their mom. But to be the best dad you can be, you have to be there, you have to spend time with your kids. All of that time that was taken away is now water under the bridge, but today it's much more clear for me. I take every offer to have the kids an extra night or to support my ex when she has to work late.