Divorce is a cruel storm. If we could see our ex-partners as humans rather than combatants, we could begin to heal the pain. We’re in this together, no matter how it turns out. Humans of Divorce are people who are doing their best in spite of the negative actions of their co-parent.
What I would like to propose is: give your body and soul what it needs/craves. Try and make healthier choices if you decide a meal or snack is in your best interest. And then, let it go, move on. Keep going. Do a bit more, eat a bit healthier, sleep a bit more, play a lot more, and listen to what your soul and body tell you.
I'm here to meet ONE person, to establish mutual respect and admiration and a monogamous partnership if things go as planned. Easy, right?
There is no bridge that's going to make our relationship work again, so my longing necessarily stayed in my own heart. There is no sense in sharing our desires and hopes when the other person is not available. It only makes it hurt worse.
Who shows up in my life next is a mystery, but I intend to give 100% of my available attention to her. This is how I do it.
So much of co-parenting is about negotiation and compromise. We no longer have the same loving emotional ties to our former partners. We no longer have to make their urgency and priorities our own.
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Define some interests that you can share. If you don't have any obvious links talk about things that excite you and see if the other person shares any flicker of enthusiasm. That's what you want. An enthusiastic yes.
Get over yourself and your amazing story. Unwrap their magic. Ask for their ideas. Provide space and quiet for their responses.