Divorce Lessons: 8 Critical Choices In Making a Positive Split
Nobody wins in a divorce, but we can keep either side from losing if we stay present and positive in the coming months of negotiation and planning.
Depression showed up in many ways in my life. My management of these dark moods has become part of my lifetime discipline. Long-term sadness may be something deeper and more serious. Learn how to take charge of your depressive or manic cycles with mindfulness and a good support team.
Here are a few of my latest posts about managing my moods. Your results may vary. But, here’s the answer: keep going, depression comes in waves, you just have to keep moving forward, back into the positive things in your life. Sometimes it takes someone else to help you see the good in your life.
I have written mostly about my experience of depression after divorce. But I had depressive tendencies before I was married. And I still struggle with depressive episodes from time to time. Often triggered by a traumatic event, like a job loss or a relationship coming apart, being sad can become more of a personality trait if depression is not nipped in the bud.
Mindfulness is my answer to depression and my own depressive thoughts. It is critical for each of us to learn our depressive patterns, triggers, and solutions. What can I do when I’m starting to feel the dark slippery slope of depression?
Nobody wins in a divorce, but we can keep either side from losing if we stay present and positive in the coming months of negotiation and planning.
What I am learning in my recovery from depression and anxiety is that my feelings are never the complete answer. And often, my feelings just are. If I can separate from them just a bit I can see myself as safe and healthy, even as my bear-feelings are shrieking, "Holy crap, you know what happens when things start feeling this good!"
As we become clearer in our boundaries, in what is good for us and what is not good for us, we can make choices more easily. When something doesn't feel good, we're able to say, "NO. This will not work for me."
Today, I'm placing my heart with a woman who believes in me, believes in lifetime commitments, and believes in love as a guiding principle.
Get your butt on the trail to recovery and fitness at that same time. And then, if you don't, don't sweat that either. It's easy to be hard on yourself during the holidays. But your own peace of mind, and your own acceptance of yourself, just as you are, is the most important thing you can learn this season.
Once I took my own anger out of the communication loop I began to heal and move on to the next stage.
There's no good way to share that the holidays are a tough time for me. I will be looking after my own health and happiness much of this season, to assure that no meltdown occurs in my life. But I will also leave some of my bandwidth open for my kids.
When working through the details of our parenting plan, she played the "family law" trump card and let me know I would not be getting 50/50 parenting, because if she went to court she knew she would win exactly what she wanted.