Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.

For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”

I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.

We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.

Tapping Into the Sadness Underneath My Recent Losses

When you begin building a relationship, part of what you are envisioning is how the two of you will progress into a full-blown, loving, couple. All the dreams of what life will be like with this person are there for your enjoyment.

Continue ReadingTapping Into the Sadness Underneath My Recent Losses

Co-Parenting Problems and Healing Strategies

Always treat your co-parent with respect and compassion. A metaphor for co-parenting might be, "Treat them as well as you do a convenience store clerk." You want to get in and get out with as little hassle as possible.

Continue ReadingCo-Parenting Problems and Healing Strategies

Voyeurism, Sadness, and Traveling Alone: a Tincture of Depression

It's amazing to be away from your lover and feel the feelings of longing and pain. Remembering what it was like when we were not in a relationship. I crave being in a relationship. And today, I am lucky. I am loved and in a loving relationship.

Continue ReadingVoyeurism, Sadness, and Traveling Alone: a Tincture of Depression