Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.
For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”
I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.
We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.
When your Big Love awakens in you and your partner, it's as if all the other questions, all the other doubts, all the other relationships, begin to fall away. We are forever changed by the joy and energy awakened in us by the loving presence of our Big Love partner.
That's where love lives: in finding, holding, and building the flame of love in our hearts and in our partner's hearts every day of our lives together.
We stand alone is a relationship. But in a relationship, we also stand beside a spiritual partner, teacher, lover. In a relationship, we can transcend our isolation and truly feel loved.
I was having a hard time maintaining a healthy relationship with myself, why would I want to bring someone else into my fractured life? I answered my own frustration by shutting down all of my profiles.
"Taking a year to really work on me, and be happy with me..." As Richard rebuilt a house in the Zilker area of Austin, Texas, he was aware of how the house was a metaphor of his self-recovery process. "I worked on the entryway of me. And then I had to work on the inside. I need to open up space, and make space for somebody."
What am I willing to give up to be WITH someone. What would "tonight" look like if there were another person waiting in the wings to spend time with me.
Come listen to an interesting conversation about masculinity, about relationships, about relationship capacity and emotional growth. Our conversation follows Mark from his experience as a man in a failing marriage, through his self-awareness process, and finally his homecoming in a long-term healthy relationship. We're going to talk about a lot of things, but at the heart is how we find and co-create a relationship with a partner.
The last two relationships, as painful as the endings were, and as devastating as the loneliness was as I confronted being alone again, both taught me valuable lessons. And this is not a silver lining strategy or rationalization.