Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.
For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”
I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.
We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.
Love is a journey. Love is not a soul mate who sweeps you off your feet. Love is a bit more like beauty and the beast. We've got flaws, we've got inner dragons, we've got issues, and we STILL LOVE THE OTHER PERSON.
I do rely on Love Languages a lot, but I think we need more than that. We need action and clear commitments to fulfill with our partners. We need to give them the space to miss us. The space to get into their own inner dialogue about dreams and projects. We need to feel our own isolation and how much more vibrant we feel when we are together.
I genuinely believe that family laws are corrupt and need to be reset to start at 50/50 parenting with no child support. I love helping moms understand single dads and how to relate to them.
Let's talk about energy and motivation, that's what drives me. Yes, I admit to being a big E extrovert, but I also have my introverted moments.
Sexual chemistry is something that happens immediately when you meet someone in the real world for the first time. Not all sexual chemistry is a wildfire of "let's get it on." But most of the sexual tension and sexual awareness comes from recognizing your own desire, your own needs, and how you imagine this person fitting in and even pushing the envelope a bit.
What is working and what is broken in the modern maelstrom of online dating apps and sites. We need an evolutionary approach to finding and building a relationship.
Over time, as adults, we develop coping mechanisms, strategies, action plans, for dealing with our own shit. Either we get pretty good at it, or we don't. When we're not very good at maintaining our own emotional boundaries, things begin to come out sideways.
The timing for me is perfect for dating and learning to love again. Really love. Go deep with trust, with conscious connection, and absolutely enjoying our time together.