Home is inside me. Home with someone else is a horizon I knew I was losing in my divorce. After eleven years of seeking, perhaps I'm getting ready to rebuild a home with someone else.
Dating is like a gateway drug. You’ve got to “date” in order to find a partner. If you are not clear on what you want in a relationship, dating is going to bring you a lot of people who are not ready, not available, and not very evolved. The goal of dating is to find someone to love.
For some, online dating is the gateway to finding someone who is outside of our normal spheres of influence. The first step is introductions. Then a few dates to see if you’re still compatible. And at some point, you’re going to declare each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. At that point, you are officially dating. Everything up to that is courtship and “hello dates.”
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- Reframing Sex and Intimacy: Men & Women Differ In Desire
I’ve had success with online dating. I also see much of the online activity as a waste of time. If you’re not going out on “hello dates” you’re really just playing at the idea of dating. Find me somebody to love. Let’s get to a first date and see where things go. We can’t get to relationships unless we are testing and trying things while dating.
We want to keep improving with each dating experience. It takes time. There will be hits and misses along the dating journey. If you have a strategy you can work the dating system quicker to find better matches.
In my conversation with Krysta Rosina, I am delighted to learn about her sex-positive approach to life and living. From an ecstatic tantric experience several years ago, she redirected her life's work. In this conversation, we explore her first massive tantric event.
I'm going to play the online dating game for a limited amount of time. I know it's a distraction. Browsing profiles online is NOT DATING. Get out there. Get into your best life and look for others around you doing the same thing. If a conversation comes up with a person of interest on Bumble or Match.com, great, but I'm not counting on the dating apps and sites to do anything for my love life. Let's get out and do what we love. I'll meet you there.
By resetting our expectations about sex just a little (when we both have the energy) we can count on a more engaged and spontaneous partner. You can't be present when you're drowsy.
Let's find the lighter path together. And if we find ourselves walking along it together, and continually renewing our intentions to get together again, maybe that's enough. I'm really ready for the "ready and centered" woman to show up.
The thrill of getting to a second date... Well, don't blow it. Just be cool. Don't lead to fast or too far. Take your signals from your date. Listen intently for emotional intelligence. Are they telling stories about past relationships, or future ideas, or work, or working out?
I alone am responsible for how I navigate each day of my life. My care team comes into play when I have questions or need a fresh perspective on what I'm struggling with. Make sure you've got people around you that you can contact when you need them.
I'm alone. Fine. I'm retooling. I'm in a progression of rebuilding a number of things in my life that are (at this moment) more important than a relationship. When I'm in hunter mode I don't see things as clearly.