I can ask to be loved. I may not feel loved even when love is abundant and specific. I might still miss some aspect of being loved. I might not feel loved, even in the presence of love. And, I can want someone else to meet my needs for love and connection, while not doing a very good job of being clear about what I need. Today, I didn't ask anyone. Today, I took care of my desire to go to the beach. September might not be summer, but it's beachy enough for me and my inner smile.
The last thing I want is to be crafting new dating profiles in six months or two years. I really deserve a relationship that is based on fundamental compatibility, shared lifestyles and life goals and has the potential to last the rest of my life.
So let's aspire to good sex, but let's put our private parts on hold for a moment while we get some clarity on what an actual relationship might look like with this person. We can't spend more than 1% of our time together in bed.
Men get a lot of stereotypical flack for not knowing how to be vulnerable and talk about their feelings. And I'd have to say, in our culture, that being a man with feelings can be hard. I'm one of those sensitive guys, and in many situations I've had to learn to toughen up, be hard, unaffected by rage, bullshit, or attacks.