What ended up happening when I pushed on the broken parts of the relationship is she began to exit emotionally and avoid any opportunities to be alone, where we might have time to discuss what was going on. She took to falling asleep in the kid's beds rather than returning to me.
The concept of the hungry and sexually frustrated male is convenient, but not all that helpful in navigating or negotiating an equitable balance in touch and intimacy, both sexual and non-sexual.
Make a change or learn to be happy with what you have. Change is the only real choice of action. Be IN or OUT of your relationship, but don't nag and complain and then not take responsibility in your own life and your own participation in the relationship.
Give your partner the ravishing they are longing for and you might get your connection needs met at the same time. A win-win.