It will take a long time for me to rebuild my relationship with the kids, but I will. And they will know the story of this angry divorce saga over time. They will ask about "what happened?" They will ask about the lies.
Dating is simple. Relationships are hard work. Well, they can be hard work, or they can be temporarily effortless. I think that's what we're imagining when we jump back into the dating pool again. We remember the highs of love crushes, the sex, the joy, the "hi, I am soooo glad to see you" feelings that are bantered back and forth when you are establishing a new love relationship.
What do you need to cut the tether attaching you to this bag of these BULLSHIT-LIES you keep telling yourself? Write them down. Identify the "little black bastards" pulling you down.
Sure, you can lean into your kids' anger about the divorce. But your role as a parent is to help them separate their emotions from your emotions. Your anger has infused their entire lives.
I work with men and women who are looking to reset their priorities in life to align more with their long-term goals. What's keeping you from achieving your dreams? What parts of your life need attention?
I simply let go and pay little or no attention to the things that are out of my control. What I have control over, I manage with greater joy and energy.
As I continue my quest to be a healthier and happier parent, I can give my kids my own stories. I can share the adventures I've been on. I can hear their stories and not pass judgment. I am glad my daughter trusts me to share all the ways she's diving into the drinking culture.
I am a coach who is concerned 100% with your future goals and how to achieve them. I encourage my clients to have a therapist to deal with the historical hurts and traumas that are holding them back. I am here in a supportive and empowering role for you.