Everything that happened from the moment my then-wife said she’d been to see a lawyer, has delivered me up to be healed in a way that would not have been possible had we stayed together.
My motto for dealing with my ex-wife and her anger: Focus on your children. Love your children.
My work is to help women and single moms get strong, healthy, and confident enough to design the relationship of their dreams. It's not always easy. And, we know there are no shortcuts to doing the work on yourself that will put you in the right mindset to attract a kickass partner.
It is my belief, that if you don't build and nurture a strong WE container with your partner, you're going to find asparagus popping up in between you more frequently. Put the WE first in consideration and you are on your way towards building a healthier and happier partnership.
Also, as the man in the divorce, you have an opportunity to lead the process with grace and empathy. You cannot control how your ex behaves, the only thing you can control is your own response to the challenges ahead.
I took the idea of a collaborative divorce to heart. But in the end there was no collaboration. I lost all my issues. All that "collaborative" meant was that I wasn't going to sue my soon-to-be-ex during the negotiations of our divorce.
Down has become the new up, and I have become a new single dad, still committed to his kids, and in many ways, to his ex-wife as well. We are still a family, still connected, even when we're not together.