Get right with yourself before moving on to partner with another person. You'll be much more attractive to other healthy people, and better equipped to see and avoid negative relationships.
However, there's a different type of person out there. I was married to one. I have known of others. And they have a different set of criteria. They have flexibility when it comes to transparency and honesty.
Parenting is a spiritual journey that you enter when your kids are born. The relationships you have as parents may change over time, but your parenting is a huge part of what gives your life meaning. To me, my kids are everything. And to my partner, my love of their kids and their love of my kids, is unfathomable and wonderful when it happens.
It's rare when we get the head and the heart to come into sync about another person. Sometimes it's one thing, a serious physical attraction for example, that sets us off, but the other person fails in one of our additional criteria. One thing I'm certain of, I cannot distinguish attraction from an online dating profile.
"That was amazing. I really loved the way you placed my hands and let me know you were going to come. I'm not worried about my orgasm. I'm happy to keep my fires stoked for the next encounter." Figuring sex out together.
I know that the drug of love is continuously renewing the purple haze of infatuation that continues to draw me onward, deeper into my commitment and devotion to this woman. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with being in love with loving this woman.
I am seeking a twin flame who is an additive to my already bright fire. There might be danger in combining our energies and desires. But only inside the flame of a BIG LOVE can we burn away the old baggage of our past and make changes and commitments to grow together as lifetime lovers.
Get your love and your friendship right and sex will follow along nicely. Start with sex, and you've got a lot of the "friendship" part to work out.